Drug Abuse: Drug Abuse Facts

Question: I've just discovered an old flame of mine is being destroyed by drug abuse- what can i do?

(Posted by: DaveyMcB on 2008-10-15 14:27:01)

When I at University, I had a bit of thing with a girl who I thought was going to be the love of my life. Turns out she didn't think the same, however, and so we just had a bit of fun and then remained friends. After University our lived separate ways and we lost contact; I got myself a 9- 5, and she went off to join one of these hardcore environmentalist groups that pickets research labs and stages protests outside parliament. A week or so I cuaght up with another old friend, who had bumped into this girl at a house- party in London. He told me she was a complete mess and was physically emaciated- barely capable of speech and covered in bruises and scratches from drug use and physical abuse. I was shocked, and so I returned to London with him and tracked her down. Sure enough she is living as a squatter with a gang of five men, in a derelict hole that Health and Safety can't ever have touched. There were needles all over the place and filth everywhere- I was sickened to see my old friend like this, who had once been such a pretty and bright girl. I managed to get her down the road to a cafe, where she told me that she regularly has sex with the men (they're all drug- addled 'enviro- fundamentalists') to fund her addictions, and has also been involved in several robberies. She must weight about five stone- literally- and I've neve seen anything like it. She admitted that she had treid to get away, and had even contacted the Police and a support group, but the men she lodged with had always convinced her to walk away from pursuing it any further. I know that if she carries on for too much longer she will be dead, and I don't want that. What should I do...is it worth just going there again and kicking the door in to get her out of there? Any SERIOUS advice welcome. Thanks.

Posted by: Dennis H on 2008-10-15, 15:11:39

In all honesty you can't do much- do NOT kick the door down, you may be able to help her to minimise risks, but she must want to get clean herself and noone can force this. In fact, if you get involved it may make it worse. What you can do is tell her she does have a choice and you are there to support her if she decides to get clean. Please be careful- drug users can be very manipulative. I guess,as there are needles present,that she is taking heroin - this is a psychologically and physically addictive substance, that can lead to dependency - imagine someone taking your water or oxygen away, and how you would fight for it. She may well also be taking crack. If she does want help it is there - if she is on heroin she will need detox and then rehab. 12 steps programmes are most effective, as are residential units. She might want to go on a methodone programme. (see links) She may need referral frm her Gp or an agency -see ldan link for one local to her, however these will only be effective if she wants to do this now... She may not be ready to get clean but she can minimise risks, using safely, with clean needles - this is called harm minimisation in drugs land - you can look this up, i've added the drugscope link, look on ldan too. Please be aware that prostitution, and health risks like hepatitis, and other blood borne diseases are occaisionally associated with this type of lifestyle. for you... Helping a friend with a drug addiction can be stressful and difficult; give her information by all means, tell her you don't judge her, but don't give cash or promises,- 12 steps recommend that you keep your distance until such a time that they are clean- heaven knows, she'll need your help at that time to rebuild her life. Get some advice - there's plenty there for you Adfam - For Families and Friends of Drug Users 25 Corsham Street London N1 6DR Tel: 020 7553 7640 Fax: 020 7253 7991 Web: adfam.org.uk Try reading a million little pieces by James Frey - a tale of rehab - not too relevant but a good read and will up your understanding. Oh good luck - I hope she comes through this - meanwhile live your life, and have fun; don't let two lives be ruined. All the best, K x

Posted by: hitman47 on 2008-10-15, 14:33:50

This is serious...LET HER DIE. she made a complete f**k up in life and threw it away. a druggie will never be clean...there are always temptations and oneday if you decide to help her ..she may meet those lads again and go back

Posted by: lokidrew on 2008-10-15, 14:43:08

If you see it as your problem do what you must. and if you don't, do nothing. Your friend got herself into this and she must be the one to get out of it. I really think there is little you can do for her. don't let the past cloud your present judgement. Its harsh man!

Posted by: R.. on 2008-10-15, 14:46:10

If you haven't already, you should let her parents or sibling(s) know about her predicament, perhaps they'll have more luck than you. Ultimately though, it's her life and you can't live it for her, no matter how much it hurts to see her in such a state. Hope it works out for her.

Posted by: Manda on 2008-10-15, 14:46:19

You should be very careful because the caliber of people you are dealing with could really mess you up. If you feel that she is in that much danger you can go to the police and ask what your options are, although since you are not family, I think you will have very few. Please be safe and try to keep in mind that unless she wants to change, you might not have much success. You could always report the house she is staying in as a dtug house and the police will watch it. You could also see if you can get her arrested, not an appealing option, but she would be better off in jail getting help and safe from the men she is staying with. All the Best!! :(

Posted by: tiggiedapuss on 2008-10-15, 15:09:34

Take heed... i got to know a smack head who injected cleaned me out when i would'nt/ could'nt give it ne more money it phoned police and told them that i raped and assualted it... it's like a vampire all they want is blood end of ..maybe u can save her maybe you can't drug addicts can b very manipulative don't get sucked in it's their problem not yours she could've had a better life but she chose drugs i don't blame the smack head that f***ed me up i blame myself for being so stupid people told me i never listened i'm in debt now i owe people money because i used to feel sorry for it and now that smack is off looking 4 the next victim leave well alone ..i'm not saying it will happen to you but is it worth the risk she could have all sorts of infections and f knows what...what other troublewill she bring you